Introduction
A trend has been popping up at weddings over the past couple of years. More and more couples are asking their celebrant to “step aside” during certain moments like the vows or the first kiss. Some photographers are quietly cheering at this and as someone who’s both a celebrant and a photographer, I get it. We photographers do love a nice, clean frame.
But it does raise an interesting question. Should celebrants really vanish into the sidelines just when the ceremony reaches its most meaningful points? Or are they meant to stand proud, holding the space they’ve so carefully helped to create? After all, couples usually choose their celebrant because they feel a connection, a sense of trust, or maybe even because they liked their bad jokes when they chatted prior to booking.
Let’s look at both sides before you decide what’s right for your own wedding day.
Why Some Couples Want Their Celebrant to Step Aside
For many couples, asking the celebrant to gently shuffle out of view is all about the photos and video. They want those clear, uninterrupted images of the two of them exchanging vows or slipping rings onto shaky fingers without a celebrant-shaped shadow in the background. No offence to any of us celebrants but when you picture your ‘forever’ wedding photo on the living room wall, you probably imagined just the two of you, not you two and a smiling stranger holding a script.
Some couples also say that these moments feel deeply personal. They want to lock eyes, exchange words, and have no one else in their little bubble, not even the wonderful human who helped them write the ceremony in the first place.
Let’s not forget the rise of TikTok and Instagram-worthy weddings. Clean, romantic, ‘just us’ images look great when shared online and wedding photographers (like me, when wearing that hat) quietly love when there’s one less body to frame around.
Why Celebrants Might Not Want to Step Aside During the Ceremony
On the flip side, celebrants aren’t there by accident. You probably picked your celebrant because you liked them, felt at ease with them, and trusted them to tell your story with care, authenticity and a whole lot of heart. A good celebrant doesn’t just rock up with a clipboard and read a few lines. They’ve likely poured hours into shaping a ceremony that fits you both perfectly, with the right balance of laughter, tears, and maybe the odd mention of your mutual obsession with dogs or Game of Thrones.
When the celebrant is asked to step aside, some of us can feel a little like we’ve been gently pushed off stage at our own show. It can also disrupt the natural flow of the ceremony. Believe it or not, our quiet presence right beside you isn’t just about the words; it helps guide you when the nerves hit, the rings get stuck, or someone forgets which pocket the vows are in.
And let’s not forget the symbolism. Your celebrant represents the legal, spiritual or personal meaning behind this huge moment. Their presence is part of the ceremony’s weight and importance; they are there to mark this life-changing promise.
Finding a Middle Ground on Whether Celebrants Should Step Aside
Like most things in weddings (and in life), there is a happy middle ground that keeps everyone smiling, including the photographer trying to get that perfect first kiss shot.
Many celebrants are more than willing to work with you and your photographer or videographer to make sure your ceremony feels right and looks amazing. There’s no rulebook that says it has to be one way or the other.
Here are some ideas:
A Little Sidestep:
Your celebrant can subtly shift slightly to the side during key moments like the vows or the kiss. Not a full vanishing act, but enough to give you that clean photo line while still keeping the ceremony flowing. Think graceful sidestep, not awkward backwards shuffle.
Selective Stepping Aside:
Want that “just us” photo moment during the kiss? Your celebrant can step aside just for that, then return to finish with the big pronouncement and any closing words. No disappearing acts needed.
Chat With Your Photographer:
A good celebrant will always have a quiet word with your photographer or videographer before the ceremony starts. And in my case, sometimes I am responsible for the photography too. So I really do understand both sides of the lens! Nobody wants the celebrant doing the sideways crab shuffle or the photographer suddenly leaping into shot like a ninja. When everyone knows the plan, the ceremony runs beautifully, and the photos are magic. You can see my wedding photography work here.
Things to Discuss With Your Celebrant
If you’re thinking about asking your celebrant to step aside (even just for a moment), have an open chat with them before the big day. Here are some things to consider:
- Which moments do you want to be ‘just the two of you’?
- Are you keen for your celebrant to guide you through vows or rings without stepping too far away?
- Have you spoken to your photographer or videographer to get their thoughts?
- Do you or your family have any traditions or cultural expectations about the role of the celebrant?
A great celebrant will happily talk all of this through with you, and if they raise any gentle concerns, it’s only because they care about making your ceremony smooth, meaningful, and memorable (for the right reasons).
You might also enjoy my post on “Ways to personalise your wedding ceremony”
Conclusion
So… should your celebrant step aside during the ceremony?
The answer is: it’s completely up to you. There is no ‘one-size-fits-all’ here. Some couples want clean, quiet photo moments without anyone else in frame. Others like the steady, reassuring presence of their celebrant standing nearby, guiding them through nerves, vows, and slightly-too-tight rings.
The important thing is to have a celebrant who truly gets you, who will shape your ceremony the way you want it, whether that includes a subtle sidestep or a proud place at your side.
And if you want someone who understands the ceremony and how the photos will look (thanks to wearing both celebrant and photographer hats), I’d love to help you plan your perfect day. No awkward “ducking out of the way” celebrants or accidental photobombing here.
If you’d like to chat about your ceremony or photography plans, feel free to get in touch.